Hello Ladies, I seem to have been lost in space recently. Time certainly gets away when we are busy, doesn't it? I'm sorry to have missed you all at Gagglefest, I know it was a great time. My Mom is doing much better the last week or so. She seems more like herself. Our girls are doing well, Maddie is back to normal and Kenz is doing ok on the new meds. School is crazy, flooding keeps us closed or delayed several days this spring. Today is one of them; early dismissal at 10:00 due to 4 inches last night and water flowing downstream. Apparently much faster than anticipated. ISTEP was put off last week, wonder if we can get another extension from the State. And who cares anyway?
I'm still processing the news of Osama Bin Laden being killed. What does this mean to our world? He seems to have already been replaced by other evils. I'm sure the families of the victims of 9/11 are experiencing relief of some kind. I pray for world peace each morning, feeling that between the wild weather and the economy and the world situation, peace is very elusive and much needed in all our lives.
Our Dad passed away 12 years ago yesterday. Hard to believe it has been so long. I still look for him to be sitting on the glider when I pull up their drive. My Dad was a big presence in my life, I always attempted to make him proud because he had accomplished so much in his life. He was a fatherless boy in an age where they were not accepted. Family was the most important thing in Dad's life, he made sure we never doubted how much he loved us and how special each of us were to him. Dad always treated Mom like a precious jewel, telling her how pretty she was, making sure she had anything she might think she needed. In fact, she often says she wished he hadn't always given in to her requests. As in paneling the walls in the 70s! She wallpapered over them in the 90s and regrets both actions. They spoiled each other, as the oldest of 13 children, Mom only knew how to take care of others. She took care of everything in their world; we never lacked for clean clothing, fresh food or a clean home. Dad made the living and Mom took care of everyrhing else. Growing up in that home, in that era was like a fairytale. Most kids today wouldn't recognize that kind of home. It breaks my heart to know that. I wish everyone could experience it. I'm sorry my grand children didn't have the chance to know their Grandad Bob. He loved kids and would have had a time with our wild boys and the sweet girls. I try to keep the good times in my heart and let go of the time that has passed since we lost him. I do miss you, Dad.
I've been attempting to work through all the steps to retirement! Wow, it would be easier to keep working. Everyone must be notified in advance, paperwork falls from the sky, the phone calls from people keeping records are amazing. Who knew you cannot just stop working? You have to follow the yellow brick road to retirement. So far I've talked to Dorothy and the Wicked Witch but haven't heard from the Wizard! There wasn't nearly the hassle when Stephen King retired - the State has its hands in ours lives up the wazoo, Girls. By the time you all retire, educators will be farmed out to someone else. Like everything else in Indiana.
I have mixed emotions about retiring. Love my job, love my kids, love my staff. I worry about what will happen when I am not there. I know that's ridiculous, the school will go on just like it always has. It isn't that, it's just I know the needs and expectations. I can be replaced and hope to be, but what if I'm not? These kids need an adult to make contact with them everyday, say their name, notice them, smile and laugh with them, hold them accountable for their behavior, love them. An empty office cannot do that. On the other hand, I look forward to spending long days with my Mom, my sister, my husband, my kids. I want to finish things; my quilt tops, my house, maybe write some. I want to see new places with Stephen King, revisit places with my grandkids. Talk about old times with Mom.
Our oldest grandson begins a new time in his life soon. He will be gone from us for a long while. He is paying for his bad decisions in a way we cannot imagine. He seems to have accepted this and looks forward to gaining what he can from this time. I pray he returns to us a new version of the boy we love. He will be in my heart and prayers each day. He deserves a chance at life.
The girls and I have chosen our summer escape and will wait till July to go this year. The kiddos are excited about Fourth of July fireworks on the beach. All the little towns on the Cape have celebrations so we should see a nice display. Hopefully from our deck! But we may have to drive to town. We love Cape San Blas. It is so quiet and non-commercial. You feel like you are at home in the small towns. There are no highrises, no tourist traps, plenty of good restaurants, neat shops and beautiful beaches. Sssshhhhush, don't tell anyone about this paradise.
So many changes in the Gaggle; Kendra is walking aready, Janelle and Alison have had their health scares, Caleb has been born and I'm sure someone else is planning a baby. I hope to see and hear from each of you soon. I miss you all. Talk to me. Love
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Choices
We all make choices everyday, some with little thought or consequence and others that require more consideration and carry heavier costs. I made a choice on Friday. I had the opportunity to join some wonderful women in Indy for a reunion of sorts. These are my Gaggle, those bright, caring, incredibly busy young women who allow me to share a tiny place in their lives. From the first few weeks of grad school, we bonded into a close knit group of serious students, high achievers and fun spirits. I was in my late 50s, Anna and Kirstie were barely 25, the others were scattered around 30. As unlikely as it was, we became the Gaggle. And all through the ups and downs of grad school, we supported, listened to, cried and celebrated with each other. We lost family, had babies, had health issues, but we all stood by, strong and ready. I love each of these ladies as if she were my own child. I've attempted to be there for all the gagglefests, all the weddings and the babies. This weekend, however, I had a bigger issue. Our mom has Alzheimers and my sister provides 99% of her care since my brothers and I have outside jobs. This weekend she was going to Chicago to visit her youngest son and his family which includes her youngest grandchild. She can count the number of times she has been with them since his birth and looks forward to spending precious hours there. Mom is at the point where she needs monitoring regularly throughout the day to ensure meds and meals are taken. I had to choose to go to Indianapolis or stay with my mother. No contest. I love the time I spend with Mom but it is emotionally exhausting. I seriously do not know how my sister does it, day after day. She isn't the same person who raised me, but she is sweet and loving still and just wants the attention of her kids. Our parents never had close friends, the family was all they wanted. We knew our parents loved us without a doubt. They spoiled each of us with attention and love, now we get to repay that love.
Besides...I had had Spring Break in the most amazing house on the beach! My room faced the Gulf and had a sweet balcony with a sweet wicker couch and a down throw where I spent my most of my time. This was the best weather we have had for Spring Break ever. Each day was better than the one before. And the evenings were beautiful, the moon was full and the moonlight reflected on the waves like silver. I went out on the balcony at midnight and watched this display, not believing my luck. How blessed we are to get to experience such a wonder. I came back to my real life revived.
We are down to the last grading period, the end of school is fast approaching and we are busy! The dullness that is February and March is gone and the hurry of spring is here. Scheduling is almost finished, ISTEPs are coming again, case conferences are almost daily, 4 today!, and I'm counting down the days till retirement.
Besides spending time with Mom and my kids, I want to work on our house and yard. Each room needs some fluffing, but the bath and kitchen have to go. Even Stephen King realizes that it is way past cosmetic repair. The tub, sink and flooring are shot. I want a stand alone shower, no tub, an antique chest for the vanity and tile flooring and walls. The only thing salvageble is the schoolhouse ceiling light. I'm thinking black and white. No surprise there! The kitchen is a different story. Some folks see no problem with fake cutting board counters and 1980s gold vinyl floors, but I do. Plus my kitchen sink faces a wall, not a window. In all my houses, the kitchen has been my room. Now I share with Stephen King, he cooks some, does most of the dishes and most of his own laundry in that ugly kitchen. He can take it, I cannot. I want warm, cosy, efficient, clean. None of which can be used to describe our kitchen. The cupboards are original from 1924, but strong and sturdy. I'm willing to repaint and get countertops, the ceiling is nearly 10 feet high and I love that. The rest of the room must go, 3 rooms actually. A tiny mudroom/laundry and nice big pantry open onto the kitchen. I'd like to open them all up into one big room. One would think with a carpenter husband and two carpenter sons, I would be living in a castle. One would be wrong. Like the cobbler's children and their lack of shoes, I am often the one needing a new roof, floor, door, etc. I'm thinking since I will have 24 hours a day to nag Stephen King about the kitchen when I retire, we might get it done! But I won't hold my breath, he can usually outlast me and seems to have a deaf ear to nagging.
I invite all of you to visit Summer Nail Photography on FaceBook to see the redhaired vision that is our Mackenzie in her Prom Dress! This child lives in sweats, is entirely low-maintanence yet her buddy captured her Teen Idol Self in these snapshots. They were playing with hairstyles and dresses and I must say captured a side of Mack never seen!. Summer is a professional photographer locally who should be taking shots for the gossip mags, I think. Check it out.
Gotta go, we may are taking the kiddos to see HOP this week and I have to check if tonight is it. Grandkids are so busy, we have to schedule outings now. Talk later. Love
Besides...I had had Spring Break in the most amazing house on the beach! My room faced the Gulf and had a sweet balcony with a sweet wicker couch and a down throw where I spent my most of my time. This was the best weather we have had for Spring Break ever. Each day was better than the one before. And the evenings were beautiful, the moon was full and the moonlight reflected on the waves like silver. I went out on the balcony at midnight and watched this display, not believing my luck. How blessed we are to get to experience such a wonder. I came back to my real life revived.
We are down to the last grading period, the end of school is fast approaching and we are busy! The dullness that is February and March is gone and the hurry of spring is here. Scheduling is almost finished, ISTEPs are coming again, case conferences are almost daily, 4 today!, and I'm counting down the days till retirement.
Besides spending time with Mom and my kids, I want to work on our house and yard. Each room needs some fluffing, but the bath and kitchen have to go. Even Stephen King realizes that it is way past cosmetic repair. The tub, sink and flooring are shot. I want a stand alone shower, no tub, an antique chest for the vanity and tile flooring and walls. The only thing salvageble is the schoolhouse ceiling light. I'm thinking black and white. No surprise there! The kitchen is a different story. Some folks see no problem with fake cutting board counters and 1980s gold vinyl floors, but I do. Plus my kitchen sink faces a wall, not a window. In all my houses, the kitchen has been my room. Now I share with Stephen King, he cooks some, does most of the dishes and most of his own laundry in that ugly kitchen. He can take it, I cannot. I want warm, cosy, efficient, clean. None of which can be used to describe our kitchen. The cupboards are original from 1924, but strong and sturdy. I'm willing to repaint and get countertops, the ceiling is nearly 10 feet high and I love that. The rest of the room must go, 3 rooms actually. A tiny mudroom/laundry and nice big pantry open onto the kitchen. I'd like to open them all up into one big room. One would think with a carpenter husband and two carpenter sons, I would be living in a castle. One would be wrong. Like the cobbler's children and their lack of shoes, I am often the one needing a new roof, floor, door, etc. I'm thinking since I will have 24 hours a day to nag Stephen King about the kitchen when I retire, we might get it done! But I won't hold my breath, he can usually outlast me and seems to have a deaf ear to nagging.
I invite all of you to visit Summer Nail Photography on FaceBook to see the redhaired vision that is our Mackenzie in her Prom Dress! This child lives in sweats, is entirely low-maintanence yet her buddy captured her Teen Idol Self in these snapshots. They were playing with hairstyles and dresses and I must say captured a side of Mack never seen!. Summer is a professional photographer locally who should be taking shots for the gossip mags, I think. Check it out.
Gotta go, we may are taking the kiddos to see HOP this week and I have to check if tonight is it. Grandkids are so busy, we have to schedule outings now. Talk later. Love
Monday, March 21, 2011
COUNTDOWN TO TOO MUCH FUN
Monday is history, thank goodness, it was a nasty one. Only 3.5 days till we break away for Gulf Shores. Anyone up for the trip? Come along, we haven't secured a house yet, planning to get a last minute deal OR sleep on the beach! And then when we get back...Gagglefest on the 1st. So happy we are doing this. So many things have taken place since our last reunion. Anna is Mrs. Clark, Caleb is here, Janelle is too! YAY. God is good, Ladies.
Courtney turned 36 yesterday in OZ. This is the 3rd birthday she has had downunder. I bet no one made a strawberry cake to celebrate her day. She may not eat strawberry cake now, but always asked for one while growing up. The boys liked pies better, but Court always wanted strawberry cake with pink icing. Even the year she turned 6 and only wore lavender, (even her glasses) she had to have her pink cake. Yep, she was a girly girl back then, once refusing to wear anything but dresses for a year. Then her pink stage, no clothing that wasn't pink. But by the time she hit 6th grade it was jeans, sweatshirts and Chuck Taylor hightops. Now it is gypsy skirts and sandals.
OK< I fell into a trance, I guess. It is now March 21 and I'm sitting on my deck watching dolphins jump from the Gulf of Mexico. Not in OC, in Gulf Shores, AL. Three friends and I are here till Friday on Spring Break. Beautiful weather, terrific house and great company What more can I say? This year we have a couple of smallfry companions, Jake a 5 year old and Bella, 20 months came along with their mommas. They have been a treat.
Our house is so close to the water this year and is a beautiful place. My room is a large 2nd floor master with its own bath and balcony. I've been spending my days on that balcony reading and watching the boats, dolphins and sea birds. It is amazing how the sights and sounds of the coast can lift the weight of the world from my shoulders and blow the cotton floss from my head. I rarely get in the water, but the ocean has such an attraction for me...I've decided I must have been a mermaid in a former life! Or possibly a whale, hehehe. Deb, my sister, has the same draw toward the desert. Maybe our parents picked us up on a cross country trip! The desert frightens me with its endless open horizon, one of the things I love about the coast. Strangely, I feel exposed in the desert and secure at the coast. It must be me, that makes no sense.
I'm happy to hear that OC is having nice warm temps, too. We, as the rest of the country, have suffered a long, gray, cold winter. I hope each of our students gets to be outside enjoying the warmth and expending some pent up energy. We have eight short weeks left of school, with lots of activities going on. I want to finish on a happy note. This is my last year of being a school counselor and I'd love to leave feeling good about the job I've done here. I know I will miss the kids, the staff and working. I'm ready for something else in my life.
Back to work now, doing the dolphin watch till dinner tonight at Tacky Jacks. A new one for us. I'll let you know what's good. Love
Courtney turned 36 yesterday in OZ. This is the 3rd birthday she has had downunder. I bet no one made a strawberry cake to celebrate her day. She may not eat strawberry cake now, but always asked for one while growing up. The boys liked pies better, but Court always wanted strawberry cake with pink icing. Even the year she turned 6 and only wore lavender, (even her glasses) she had to have her pink cake. Yep, she was a girly girl back then, once refusing to wear anything but dresses for a year. Then her pink stage, no clothing that wasn't pink. But by the time she hit 6th grade it was jeans, sweatshirts and Chuck Taylor hightops. Now it is gypsy skirts and sandals.
OK< I fell into a trance, I guess. It is now March 21 and I'm sitting on my deck watching dolphins jump from the Gulf of Mexico. Not in OC, in Gulf Shores, AL. Three friends and I are here till Friday on Spring Break. Beautiful weather, terrific house and great company What more can I say? This year we have a couple of smallfry companions, Jake a 5 year old and Bella, 20 months came along with their mommas. They have been a treat.
Our house is so close to the water this year and is a beautiful place. My room is a large 2nd floor master with its own bath and balcony. I've been spending my days on that balcony reading and watching the boats, dolphins and sea birds. It is amazing how the sights and sounds of the coast can lift the weight of the world from my shoulders and blow the cotton floss from my head. I rarely get in the water, but the ocean has such an attraction for me...I've decided I must have been a mermaid in a former life! Or possibly a whale, hehehe. Deb, my sister, has the same draw toward the desert. Maybe our parents picked us up on a cross country trip! The desert frightens me with its endless open horizon, one of the things I love about the coast. Strangely, I feel exposed in the desert and secure at the coast. It must be me, that makes no sense.
I'm happy to hear that OC is having nice warm temps, too. We, as the rest of the country, have suffered a long, gray, cold winter. I hope each of our students gets to be outside enjoying the warmth and expending some pent up energy. We have eight short weeks left of school, with lots of activities going on. I want to finish on a happy note. This is my last year of being a school counselor and I'd love to leave feeling good about the job I've done here. I know I will miss the kids, the staff and working. I'm ready for something else in my life.
Back to work now, doing the dolphin watch till dinner tonight at Tacky Jacks. A new one for us. I'll let you know what's good. Love
Monday, March 7, 2011
Happy 17th Mackenzie
Today is our grand daughter, Mackenzie Rose's 17th birthday. March 6. She was just past one year old when she began saying, "two March 6" to everybody. We laughed and laughed at the tiny little redhead holding up 2 stubby fingers and denying being just one. Kenzie was such a strong minded little one then, we should have known it would serve her well as the years passed and brought health crisis after crisis; Kenz holds strong through it all. Just this week, she told her nephrologist that she was not spending her 17th birthday in Rileys, she may have been tricked into Christmas there, but not her own special day. Promising to eat and drink, to endure yet another injection this week and more labs next, Kenz came home.
She has requested vegetable beef soup and coconut cake for her Birthday Dinner and as long as G-ma Hedy is able, she will have it. All our grandkids are special to us, each in her/his own way. Mack is the first baby I watched come into this world; I watched in awe as her red curls appeared, followed by the sweetest, round face ever. Maddie was jumping into the doctor's hands as I came around the curtain, she seemed so tiny and delicate with a tuft of blond hair and a little whimper, we couldn't know she wouldn't get much louder. Caleb, I again, was the first to see, that dark head appear, followed by an incredibly long skinny body, so different from his short, chubby sisters, he soon would teach Mom and Dad the difference, Gavin was a speeding train, beating everyone to delivery, he was such a big boy, he practically walked out, there was nothing delicate about him, he was big and tough, looking at all of his family as if to say, "where you been, I've been waiting for you. Lets play". They had me at first glance. Joseph and Shayla were 6 and 1 when they came to us. Both fit right into our family, they were our first grandchildren. Joe was automatically mine. He was so like my boys, ready to be out and gone, exploring the woods and creeks, fishing, hunting and eating his weight in goodies everyday! Shay took a little longer, she was Papaw's girl at first. She had to warm up to me, but once she did, we became inseparable. Tea parties, gardening, cooking and eating out were our favorites and still are. The years have flown so fast, I cannot believe our Mackenzie Roses is almost ready for college and the younger ones are all in school. Shayla is a beautiful young woman at 22 and is a joy for all of us. Joe is facing a big challenge right now, but I feel he will be better for it. He, like so many of his generation, has made some foolish decisions and put himself at risk for so much hurt. We pray he will be given the chance to rcover and go on toward a happy, productive life. Joseph is a sweet soul, we love him and always will.
Birthdays, weddings, funerals, all make me emotional and nostalgic for old times. If only we could have those times back, knowing what we now know, could we do better, love more, tolerate less, expect more, accept less? I sometimes wish we could. I pray I would do better. But we aren't given that gift, so I will seek the joy of my family and love them better from here forward.
It is a cold wet weekend in Southern Indiana, nothing new there! I think the beefy vegetable soup will be welcomed by the kiddos. I do wish Spring will come soon. The daffodils are up in our yard, but not blooming yet. The grass does look greener, maybe. And our ewes are lambing again. We haven't had any births here at the house yet, but should this week. The field at the farm is full of new life, coming in singles and twins! I love that sheep twin so often, nothing cuter than lambies X 2.
I am adding a PS to this post. It is Monday night and another week has started, not surprisingly it resembles most others; the dread of Monday morning, the loud laughter of kids in the halls, the drooping shoulders of the teachers leading their classes out into the cold gray morning for recess, the crainess that is middle school lunch. Like many Mondays before, it is almost over. BTW: Stephen King announces the birth of a fine lamb overnight here at the house. Only three or four more mommas to deliver. Spring will come, we can see the Promise in God's new creatures.
Counting the days til the Gagglefest, Ladies. Enjoy. Love
She has requested vegetable beef soup and coconut cake for her Birthday Dinner and as long as G-ma Hedy is able, she will have it. All our grandkids are special to us, each in her/his own way. Mack is the first baby I watched come into this world; I watched in awe as her red curls appeared, followed by the sweetest, round face ever. Maddie was jumping into the doctor's hands as I came around the curtain, she seemed so tiny and delicate with a tuft of blond hair and a little whimper, we couldn't know she wouldn't get much louder. Caleb, I again, was the first to see, that dark head appear, followed by an incredibly long skinny body, so different from his short, chubby sisters, he soon would teach Mom and Dad the difference, Gavin was a speeding train, beating everyone to delivery, he was such a big boy, he practically walked out, there was nothing delicate about him, he was big and tough, looking at all of his family as if to say, "where you been, I've been waiting for you. Lets play". They had me at first glance. Joseph and Shayla were 6 and 1 when they came to us. Both fit right into our family, they were our first grandchildren. Joe was automatically mine. He was so like my boys, ready to be out and gone, exploring the woods and creeks, fishing, hunting and eating his weight in goodies everyday! Shay took a little longer, she was Papaw's girl at first. She had to warm up to me, but once she did, we became inseparable. Tea parties, gardening, cooking and eating out were our favorites and still are. The years have flown so fast, I cannot believe our Mackenzie Roses is almost ready for college and the younger ones are all in school. Shayla is a beautiful young woman at 22 and is a joy for all of us. Joe is facing a big challenge right now, but I feel he will be better for it. He, like so many of his generation, has made some foolish decisions and put himself at risk for so much hurt. We pray he will be given the chance to rcover and go on toward a happy, productive life. Joseph is a sweet soul, we love him and always will.
Birthdays, weddings, funerals, all make me emotional and nostalgic for old times. If only we could have those times back, knowing what we now know, could we do better, love more, tolerate less, expect more, accept less? I sometimes wish we could. I pray I would do better. But we aren't given that gift, so I will seek the joy of my family and love them better from here forward.
It is a cold wet weekend in Southern Indiana, nothing new there! I think the beefy vegetable soup will be welcomed by the kiddos. I do wish Spring will come soon. The daffodils are up in our yard, but not blooming yet. The grass does look greener, maybe. And our ewes are lambing again. We haven't had any births here at the house yet, but should this week. The field at the farm is full of new life, coming in singles and twins! I love that sheep twin so often, nothing cuter than lambies X 2.
I am adding a PS to this post. It is Monday night and another week has started, not surprisingly it resembles most others; the dread of Monday morning, the loud laughter of kids in the halls, the drooping shoulders of the teachers leading their classes out into the cold gray morning for recess, the crainess that is middle school lunch. Like many Mondays before, it is almost over. BTW: Stephen King announces the birth of a fine lamb overnight here at the house. Only three or four more mommas to deliver. Spring will come, we can see the Promise in God's new creatures.
Counting the days til the Gagglefest, Ladies. Enjoy. Love
Monday, February 28, 2011
Blank Slate
A blank slate to write our thoughts upon...but not a coherent thought in our head! I often have an inspiration for a post during the week; during a session with a student, a phone call with a distraught parent,a meeting with an angry administrator, a couch visit from a weary teacher or sometimes in the car with my Mom. My world is full of options for posting, I interact with a hundred people each week. The number of stories overwhelms me sometimes. Yet when I have the time to sit and process I cannot seem to pick out the nugget of inspiration to share with you. I admit to occasionally writing all my jumbled thoughts on the screen and editing later, attempting to create an interesting, honest version of my week. Usually this helps me see the real topic of the post, sometimes it just adds to my confusion on what to say. I love writing. I'm not good at it I know, but that is not important.
The writing process helps organize my thoughts and I think helps me to do better work with my kiddos and others. I also write to have a record of my days and what was going on in my head at this time. The more time I spend with my mother as she falls deeper into dementia, the more afraid I become of losing myself as she has done. Yesterday she told me she thinks," I am worse than I thought I was". We had a good afternoon shopping for Courtney and Mackenzie's birthday presents. Over two hours in one store, just like old times, Mom picking up every item, looking, judging, putting it back. Over and over throughout the store from tops to pants to jeans to jackets to sweaters to dresses and shoes. She loves shopping, the crippling back pain recedes, the clouded thoughts clear when she smells a bargain. But in the car, minutes later, she asks what we bought, remembering nothing of the afternoon. This scares me and breaks my heart. But we end our day on a happy note. Laughing about how easy it is for Mom to curl up on her nest and rest. Something that never happened in her first 80 years. She spent those years in the kitchen preparing meals, doing laundry, making her home. Most of the snapshots of Mom are in the kitchen; standing; washing dishes, washing fresh vegetables, washing delicate sweaters and lace bras, preparing her special fried chicken, potato soup, beef and noodles, corn bread. Never sitting, never resting. All those years waiting for others to come in that back door and allow her to serve them, NO, making them let her serve them. No one ever left her kitchen empty handed or empty bellied. She force fed her grandkids handmade milk shakes, cookies n milk, full meals even as after-school snacks. They all know what it means to enter Grandma Helen's kitchen. All who enter take home a baggie full of something. Now whenever they go, she is in the small TV room at the back of the house, usually asleep, always on her little nest on the couch. The kitchen is dark, the stove is cold, it doesn't feel like Grandma's anymore. But she is still there, the light in her eyes is dimmer, but still there, she still speaks of all those days, not remembering our shopping, but reliving the first 80 years.
ISTEP begins tomorrow, so I am spending today at home resting up. I test our 504 kids and That becomes an intense morning. All of them become distracted so easily and it requires awhile to settle everyone. We allow them all the time they need and some days it might be 3 hours. Ofcourse, some days it is 3 minutes and they all are finished! I enjoy working so closely with a few students at a time and most of them try so hard to do their best. This type of testing places to much sress on kids. They cannot be judged for one test on one day. There must be a better way. Trusting good teachers' judgements might be a start. These next few weeks will be an interesting time in Indiana education. Someone let the fox in the henhouse in Indy.
I've spent several hours looking a summer rentals for the family. We have such a wonderful time each year, but finding just the right home for all our needs and interests can take a little work. Have to have a private pool for the teens and little guys, need lots of open space for everyone, I need at least a view of the ocean, good restaurants within 30 minutes, a terrific grocery close by, big equiped kitchen for Nina and me, bicycles for Shay and Maddie...the list goes on and on. And amazingly, we find a perfect one each year! Cannot wait to celebrate Cabe's birthday at the beach again. He believe's the trip is an extended celebration for him! Love that little Pretty Boy, can't believe he will be 8 this summer. And my Sweetie Gavin is 6 already. My babies are growing way too fast.
Stephen King has been sick for 3 weeks, but he is on the mend today. He has plans for the next several days just to catch up on his activities. He loves retirement and does not handle illness at all. I am thrilled to see him up and out again. One body lying around the house is enough. He makes a great care iver, but a terrible patient.
I'll post this now, I've managed to fill the blank slate once again, Ladies. Hugs and kisses to Alison for organizing the Spring Gagglefest in April. Take care. Love
The writing process helps organize my thoughts and I think helps me to do better work with my kiddos and others. I also write to have a record of my days and what was going on in my head at this time. The more time I spend with my mother as she falls deeper into dementia, the more afraid I become of losing myself as she has done. Yesterday she told me she thinks," I am worse than I thought I was". We had a good afternoon shopping for Courtney and Mackenzie's birthday presents. Over two hours in one store, just like old times, Mom picking up every item, looking, judging, putting it back. Over and over throughout the store from tops to pants to jeans to jackets to sweaters to dresses and shoes. She loves shopping, the crippling back pain recedes, the clouded thoughts clear when she smells a bargain. But in the car, minutes later, she asks what we bought, remembering nothing of the afternoon. This scares me and breaks my heart. But we end our day on a happy note. Laughing about how easy it is for Mom to curl up on her nest and rest. Something that never happened in her first 80 years. She spent those years in the kitchen preparing meals, doing laundry, making her home. Most of the snapshots of Mom are in the kitchen; standing; washing dishes, washing fresh vegetables, washing delicate sweaters and lace bras, preparing her special fried chicken, potato soup, beef and noodles, corn bread. Never sitting, never resting. All those years waiting for others to come in that back door and allow her to serve them, NO, making them let her serve them. No one ever left her kitchen empty handed or empty bellied. She force fed her grandkids handmade milk shakes, cookies n milk, full meals even as after-school snacks. They all know what it means to enter Grandma Helen's kitchen. All who enter take home a baggie full of something. Now whenever they go, she is in the small TV room at the back of the house, usually asleep, always on her little nest on the couch. The kitchen is dark, the stove is cold, it doesn't feel like Grandma's anymore. But she is still there, the light in her eyes is dimmer, but still there, she still speaks of all those days, not remembering our shopping, but reliving the first 80 years.
ISTEP begins tomorrow, so I am spending today at home resting up. I test our 504 kids and That becomes an intense morning. All of them become distracted so easily and it requires awhile to settle everyone. We allow them all the time they need and some days it might be 3 hours. Ofcourse, some days it is 3 minutes and they all are finished! I enjoy working so closely with a few students at a time and most of them try so hard to do their best. This type of testing places to much sress on kids. They cannot be judged for one test on one day. There must be a better way. Trusting good teachers' judgements might be a start. These next few weeks will be an interesting time in Indiana education. Someone let the fox in the henhouse in Indy.
I've spent several hours looking a summer rentals for the family. We have such a wonderful time each year, but finding just the right home for all our needs and interests can take a little work. Have to have a private pool for the teens and little guys, need lots of open space for everyone, I need at least a view of the ocean, good restaurants within 30 minutes, a terrific grocery close by, big equiped kitchen for Nina and me, bicycles for Shay and Maddie...the list goes on and on. And amazingly, we find a perfect one each year! Cannot wait to celebrate Cabe's birthday at the beach again. He believe's the trip is an extended celebration for him! Love that little Pretty Boy, can't believe he will be 8 this summer. And my Sweetie Gavin is 6 already. My babies are growing way too fast.
Stephen King has been sick for 3 weeks, but he is on the mend today. He has plans for the next several days just to catch up on his activities. He loves retirement and does not handle illness at all. I am thrilled to see him up and out again. One body lying around the house is enough. He makes a great care iver, but a terrible patient.
I'll post this now, I've managed to fill the blank slate once again, Ladies. Hugs and kisses to Alison for organizing the Spring Gagglefest in April. Take care. Love
Friday, February 18, 2011
THE ART OF FRIENDSHIP
I've spent a large portion of my day dealing with angry girls, heartbroken girls, weeping girls. Hormones run rampant in the middle school. I completely understand that. I understand that females will be at the mercy of hormones until the GREAT CHANGE OF LIFE. What I don't get is why females are so cruel to each other. Why can't we see that we are all in this together and need to be kind to each other? Why do we save our most evil words for other females? Why do we treat each other as enemies? Why, why, why? Try as I may, I cannot convince the girls to play nice with others. That will come with time, I suppose. I know my own friends are precious to me. Old school buddies have been through good times and bad together. New friends reap the bounty of wisdom gained as we grow older.
But I still remember the power friendship gave to girls, the power to betray confidences, to lie, and to exclude. I remember feeling lucky that I wasn't a victim of others when I was a kid. I witnessed the behavior of our Queen Bee and her power over so many of us. I remember the uneasy relief of watching someone else burn under her stinging words. I realize now that I just wasn't a threat to them! I was quiet, but not timid, I wasn't jealous of what they had, I didn't date from the same pool of guys. In truth they probably didn't even give my presence much thought at all. I was lucky.
We have dealt with Facebook drama all week and the worst of it comes from mean girls... mean-spirited girls who should know better. Who don't appear to care how much they hurt someone. Who stand in high school halls and spray ugly words for everyone to hear. Ugly lies about a person who used to be their friend. A friend who made the mistake of confiding secrets or fears to someone she thought of as a sister. A sister who would support and protect her secrets. Secrets which are now out there for the world to see and judge. How can one female do this to another? We are all sisters in this world and should be that support for each other, we should stand strong against the hurts and trials of the world. Instead we choose to force each other to stand alone. Oh my, I hope these girls grow up soon and learn to treasure each other.
One of my good friends, a part of my Gaggle, has faced a health threat this week. It has ended well, but the stress of "what if" was heavy. I thank God for His mercy and blessing on her. Scares such as this make us realize the truly important things in life. Best wishes, Sweetie, and a speedy recovery. This wonderful group of young women helped get me through grad school at an age when I should have been planning retirement, not a new career. Each of them has blessed me with her friendship and I cherish the opportunity of their friendships. I cannot wait for our next Gagglefest, Ladies.
The warmer weather has been such a welcomed relief this week. Hopefully, some of the awful germs will blow away with these wild winds we've been having. I've never seen such a winter for sickness, people suffer from yuck to yuck without a break. No one remains immune. Stephen King has had a cold for 2 weeks and is tired of it! No one suffers pain and illness quite like him, I'm sure. He truly hasn't been himself, too tired to even get out. He usually makes his daily rounds regardless of the weather, so I know he isn't well. Too many hours watching westerns just isn't healthy. He was going to help #3 son put up fence today, I hope he felt like it. I worry if he feels bad.
Our kiddos are doing OK this week other than the regular elementary school crud, Cabe has a stomach bug and Gavin is still sneezing. The girls are all good. Madeleine had a terrific check-up with her heart surgeon. X-rays couldn't look better! Wonderful news. She is getting her color back and has been playing outside after school with the neighborhood crowd. She loves that.
Courtney reports all is well in OZ, no flooding or cyclones in their area. She just complains of heat, something I cannt sympathize with this winter! She has her resident VISA now so will not be returning to the States for a long while. We will miss those visits every 90 days. That has been how we've accepted her moving to the other side of the world. It will be interesting to see how long the parents can survive without scheduling a flight downunder!
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. I'm looking forward to a little sunshine on my front porch.
But I still remember the power friendship gave to girls, the power to betray confidences, to lie, and to exclude. I remember feeling lucky that I wasn't a victim of others when I was a kid. I witnessed the behavior of our Queen Bee and her power over so many of us. I remember the uneasy relief of watching someone else burn under her stinging words. I realize now that I just wasn't a threat to them! I was quiet, but not timid, I wasn't jealous of what they had, I didn't date from the same pool of guys. In truth they probably didn't even give my presence much thought at all. I was lucky.
We have dealt with Facebook drama all week and the worst of it comes from mean girls... mean-spirited girls who should know better. Who don't appear to care how much they hurt someone. Who stand in high school halls and spray ugly words for everyone to hear. Ugly lies about a person who used to be their friend. A friend who made the mistake of confiding secrets or fears to someone she thought of as a sister. A sister who would support and protect her secrets. Secrets which are now out there for the world to see and judge. How can one female do this to another? We are all sisters in this world and should be that support for each other, we should stand strong against the hurts and trials of the world. Instead we choose to force each other to stand alone. Oh my, I hope these girls grow up soon and learn to treasure each other.
One of my good friends, a part of my Gaggle, has faced a health threat this week. It has ended well, but the stress of "what if" was heavy. I thank God for His mercy and blessing on her. Scares such as this make us realize the truly important things in life. Best wishes, Sweetie, and a speedy recovery. This wonderful group of young women helped get me through grad school at an age when I should have been planning retirement, not a new career. Each of them has blessed me with her friendship and I cherish the opportunity of their friendships. I cannot wait for our next Gagglefest, Ladies.
The warmer weather has been such a welcomed relief this week. Hopefully, some of the awful germs will blow away with these wild winds we've been having. I've never seen such a winter for sickness, people suffer from yuck to yuck without a break. No one remains immune. Stephen King has had a cold for 2 weeks and is tired of it! No one suffers pain and illness quite like him, I'm sure. He truly hasn't been himself, too tired to even get out. He usually makes his daily rounds regardless of the weather, so I know he isn't well. Too many hours watching westerns just isn't healthy. He was going to help #3 son put up fence today, I hope he felt like it. I worry if he feels bad.
Our kiddos are doing OK this week other than the regular elementary school crud, Cabe has a stomach bug and Gavin is still sneezing. The girls are all good. Madeleine had a terrific check-up with her heart surgeon. X-rays couldn't look better! Wonderful news. She is getting her color back and has been playing outside after school with the neighborhood crowd. She loves that.
Courtney reports all is well in OZ, no flooding or cyclones in their area. She just complains of heat, something I cannt sympathize with this winter! She has her resident VISA now so will not be returning to the States for a long while. We will miss those visits every 90 days. That has been how we've accepted her moving to the other side of the world. It will be interesting to see how long the parents can survive without scheduling a flight downunder!
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. I'm looking forward to a little sunshine on my front porch.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
February-- The (hopefully) Shortest Month
Let's have a moment of silent prayer for this being the shortest, mildest February ever. I do believe the past 3 months have been a sufficient notice of Who is in charge. "We get it, God. We will straighten up down here, promise."
Whenever the weather grows harsh, natural disasters happen or civil strife breaks out in the world, there are those who claim the world is coming to an end. Maybe, maybe not... No one knows for sure, no one can stop it if so, but why take a chance? God has set before us a list of rules for living. Kind of a Renter's List. We haven't abided by the list for the most part; polluting His air, water, soil, wiping out species after species of His animal kingdom, anihilating each other for centuries over color, creed, and religion, having false gods, such as Money, failing to honor our parents, lusting after our neighbors' wife, car, house, the list goes on and on. Little wonder we get edgy whenever it snows, we know we have it coming!
As a school kid in the 50s, I was so fearful of just about everything, but especially the End Of Time. I was certain each day might be our last. The Cold War years were a severe trial for me, WWIII would be an obvious way to end it all. Between my great-grandmother's fire and brimstone church and the nightly news, I cowered in bed each night praying for mercy.I was also terribly afraid of dogs, horses, carnival rides, but those are other stories.
As I've grown older and wiser, I've lost most of my fears. I can watch an electrical storm and feel confident I will not be struck by lightening. I can pet all dogs and horses without a racing heart. I've ridden more fast, spinning, dropping amusement park rides than I can count. I hate the idea of war and killing and human suffering, but I don't fear these things for myself anymore. I have faith that God knows my fate and will take care of me. Fear is the greatest crippler in life.
As far as this wild, cold weather goes, weather is a never ending cycle, out of our control. The planet we reside upon is old, older than dirt, so to speak. It has seen it all. Nothing is new to this sphere; earthquakes, cyclones, tsunamis, volcanos, floods have all been part of her past and will be part of her future. Our response should be to jump in and aid those affected by disaster, not whining. But right now, I wish for Spring.
We tend to ignore the fact that people are animals. Unless one is exposed to children before a snowstorm!! They become squirrels dropping from the trees, deer caught in the headlights staring blankly in response to any comment made by an adult, wild horses running in herds up and down the halls. Our first whole week back in school in 2011 was a jungle. We had cat fights, dope smokers, and meltdowns aplenty, food fights, weepy jocks, suicide threats and a 5 year old pulling the fire alarm...at lunch..in a rainstorm. Yes, we were back to a normal 5day school week. Animals, for sure.
All in all I have laughed more than cried this week. As my son says, "you can't make this stuff up". It happens, it is called life. I for one, wouldn't want to miss it. I wonder what I will be doing this time next year when I'm free. Will the house seem quiet and boring with just me and Stephen King? Can a few sheep and chickens replace 250 wild animals? I'm sure the Lord has His plans for my time, it will be interesting to find out what they are.
Gaggle, we just have to have a gathering this spring, I miss you all. I want to begin quilting in earnest this summer and make you all a miniature quilt to mark our friendship. My sister-in-law makes the most beautiful tiny doll quilts for her grandchild that I would love to try. Time and patience, neither of which I have now. But soon.
Next week looks to be cold and wet in southern Hoosierland, hope you all stay safe and warm. Hedy
Whenever the weather grows harsh, natural disasters happen or civil strife breaks out in the world, there are those who claim the world is coming to an end. Maybe, maybe not... No one knows for sure, no one can stop it if so, but why take a chance? God has set before us a list of rules for living. Kind of a Renter's List. We haven't abided by the list for the most part; polluting His air, water, soil, wiping out species after species of His animal kingdom, anihilating each other for centuries over color, creed, and religion, having false gods, such as Money, failing to honor our parents, lusting after our neighbors' wife, car, house, the list goes on and on. Little wonder we get edgy whenever it snows, we know we have it coming!
As a school kid in the 50s, I was so fearful of just about everything, but especially the End Of Time. I was certain each day might be our last. The Cold War years were a severe trial for me, WWIII would be an obvious way to end it all. Between my great-grandmother's fire and brimstone church and the nightly news, I cowered in bed each night praying for mercy.I was also terribly afraid of dogs, horses, carnival rides, but those are other stories.
As I've grown older and wiser, I've lost most of my fears. I can watch an electrical storm and feel confident I will not be struck by lightening. I can pet all dogs and horses without a racing heart. I've ridden more fast, spinning, dropping amusement park rides than I can count. I hate the idea of war and killing and human suffering, but I don't fear these things for myself anymore. I have faith that God knows my fate and will take care of me. Fear is the greatest crippler in life.
As far as this wild, cold weather goes, weather is a never ending cycle, out of our control. The planet we reside upon is old, older than dirt, so to speak. It has seen it all. Nothing is new to this sphere; earthquakes, cyclones, tsunamis, volcanos, floods have all been part of her past and will be part of her future. Our response should be to jump in and aid those affected by disaster, not whining. But right now, I wish for Spring.
We tend to ignore the fact that people are animals. Unless one is exposed to children before a snowstorm!! They become squirrels dropping from the trees, deer caught in the headlights staring blankly in response to any comment made by an adult, wild horses running in herds up and down the halls. Our first whole week back in school in 2011 was a jungle. We had cat fights, dope smokers, and meltdowns aplenty, food fights, weepy jocks, suicide threats and a 5 year old pulling the fire alarm...at lunch..in a rainstorm. Yes, we were back to a normal 5day school week. Animals, for sure.
All in all I have laughed more than cried this week. As my son says, "you can't make this stuff up". It happens, it is called life. I for one, wouldn't want to miss it. I wonder what I will be doing this time next year when I'm free. Will the house seem quiet and boring with just me and Stephen King? Can a few sheep and chickens replace 250 wild animals? I'm sure the Lord has His plans for my time, it will be interesting to find out what they are.
Gaggle, we just have to have a gathering this spring, I miss you all. I want to begin quilting in earnest this summer and make you all a miniature quilt to mark our friendship. My sister-in-law makes the most beautiful tiny doll quilts for her grandchild that I would love to try. Time and patience, neither of which I have now. But soon.
Next week looks to be cold and wet in southern Hoosierland, hope you all stay safe and warm. Hedy
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