Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Summer finally arrives

August has been hazy, hot, and humid as it always is in the Ohio Valley, but this year, even more so because the summer has been so mild till now. We were fooled into thinking we would get by August without those HHH days. Fools. Football has started at school, poor boys and a few brave girls, sweating like horses, dropping in the field like flies. Overcome with the heat. Our Caleb is playing on the county fifth grade team, a big surprise, he likes it! Ours has never been a family for organized group sports. Stephen King played his senior year on Paoli High School's first football team, son Stephen played high school basketball and tennis, Courtney and Joe were in marching band for years and years. Gavin is playing soccer this year and Caleb will play 5th grade basketball this winter. But, overall we've never been school athletics groupies. I'm anxious to watch a few games with my boys playing. 
Life back in OC has fallen into its old path, caring for Mom on weekends and Wednesday, staying home the rest of the week. I make excuses not to get out a lot, preferring to be at home. I did go back to the gym for a couple of weeks, but over worked my sick muscles and have to regroup till the inflammation dies down. Lupus is fickle, demanding movement and rest simultaneously. Once a body part is injured, they all join in and swell and scream in pain. I'm better this week, but moving slowly and cautiously, not daring to insult any muscle or joint. The gym will have to wait a bit longer.
Mom continues to decline with not many good days any more. We take her for drives around the county a time or two each week, but getting in and out of the house is challenging. The one step in her house is into the kitchen from the garage and she barely makes it. Each time feels as if we are climbing Everest, she battles to make it up. Stephen is going to fix an iron rail for her to use this week. I know that will give her more security for getting out. Mom still knows everyone when she sees us, but gets confused about who is who in conversation frequently mixing the Grandkids with the wrong parents. Some compare caring for an Alzheimer's patient with childcare, but I don't agree childcare is life giving, learning, teaching, living, Alzheimer's is a deathwatch. Watching as your beloved mother slips away, unable to stop it or make it better, just being there, holding a hand, 
washing a frail body, brushing thin hair, listening to long forgotten stories told over and over. An 
honor to serve, but so painful to experience. I'm so thankful we have a strong, loving family to share this.
I've actually finished a quilt this week and am binding another! I made them for my nephew's kids, Collier is two and her big brother Whitt is four. I don't get to spend much time with them, as they live in Louisville, but they are two special little people. I hand quilted Collier's, something I had second thoughts about as soon as I started. But I really loved the process and even made my own binding. Whitt's has seam tape and is hand tied, not quilted. It is a cowboy print patchwork, so fittingly simple. I'm more of a fabric collector than a quilter, but I think I will finish a crazy quilt I started for Courtney in OZ and quilt one I pieced for Shayla years ago. There's also a beautiful stack of London voile prints that demand a special project. Truthfully, I probably have enough fabric to provide all my kids, Grandkids, nieces and nephews with a quilt or two. But that's a pie in the sky thought, I know myself better than that. 
It has been a year since we lost Steve and life has moved on in many ways, yet I continue to be surprised that he isn't here when I come home. I still listen when I wake for the sound of him making coffee in the kitchen, greeting the cats as he opens the back door to feed them. I drove his little blue truck last week and it felt like a big hug to climb into that little cab, full of his stuff. Straw hat, gloves, sunglasses, notepads, tools and all his plunder, just waiting for him. I often feel as if I, too, am waiting. Waiting for my life to restart, maybe, I don't know. I've never done this before. But I miss him with every breath I take. 
Oh, I almost forgot, I bought myself a bike! Crazy old lady can't even pedal the exercise bike at the gym because the knee won't bend, thinks she is going to bike to town! Well, I know I won't if I don't have a bike!
Talk to me, Ladies. Take care. Hedy