Saturday, October 29, 2011


Hello all,
      Just when you think you have a plan... you get a wake up call from the Man in charge. Stephen King and I planned our lives long ago: I'd stay home raise the kids, keep house while he made the living. Then I'd finish school, have a career and he would retire early. About that time, his company restructured and he lost his job, just before retirement. God laughed. But He saw us thru it and Steve found a less stressful job for a few years. Then retired. If anyone ever enjoyed retirement it is Stephen King. After 40 + years of days starting at 4:00 AM and ending after dark, he was free to do what he wanted. He became my "house bitch". Our joke. He made beds, washed dishes and shopped. I found this wonderful. Grocery shopping is my most dreaded chore. Ok, back to the Plan. After a rough year we decided I would retire, too. God starts grinning here, the state decided I had worked 30 days too little to get my pension. OK, we can live without it. We decide to travel. Stephen King begins to complain about his aching back. Pulled muscle? Docs agree. Chiropractor declares 6 weeks of adjustments are called for. Maybe not the answer. Doc wants tests, xrays, bone scans, lab work, catscans. God cries alittle here, I think...Lung cancer that has spread to the bones. Spine, hip, femur, breast bone and collar bone. We wait while the biopsy is being examined, and wait, and wait. Of course, I have to do some research. Never do research. There is NOTHING good about this. But God has smiled at us again, the cancer is adencarcinoma, a common type usually treatable with good results. No cure, but time. Chemo therapy begins next week and Stephen King has decided he will breeze thru it and carry on with his plans. I cannot take that optimistism away from him by repeating horror stories of chemo I have always heard. Attitude and faith will see us thru this. We will lean on each other as always. Throughout our 45 years together, it has been us against the world. From two kids falling in love against everyone's advice to retired geezers having God laugh at our plans, we are together, hand in hand. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, we learned this so many lessons ago. We are still here. And God is still smiling at us.
      Stephen King wants us to keep our life normal, no moping around, no hidden tears, no whispered secrets. And so we are. I had dinner last night at the Winery with my Spring Break girls and he took a long walk with Hank the dog and Ian the 3rd son. We both had a wonderful time. The boys and their families were here tonight Trick or Treating and having soup and cupcakes. When Courtney gets here on Monday, we will do the same things we always do when she visits. The treatments will just be worked in around our planned activities. Sunday we will have our big party for Stephen King and Trent, who missed being born on his dad's birthday by 4 hours. Christmas shopping, Thanksgiving, staying with my mom will all go on as usual. He is cllingthe shots and we will go along as long as we must.
     As for me, I'm still numb. My friend who saw her son thru lynmphoma, tells me to stay numb. I know I should be experiencing something else, something profound, painful, scary. But not yet. I check every morning, asking myself, "Is it here yet? That overwhelming feeling of helplessness". But it isn't. I know it will come. I know it has to come. But not now, God must not be ready for it yet. I know I'm not.
      Talk to me, Ladies. Love, Hedy

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Hello Ladies,
    I have always been a realist, perferring to know the facts and deal with any issue head on. But we received some news yeterday that has shaken us into wanting to hide from the truth. Stephen King's backaches are not from a pulled muscle afterall, he has bone cancer coming from lung cancer. Makes me want to crawl in a hole and cover my head, but that isn't going to happen here! We will follow the doctors' lead and fight this. It isn't curable, but they will treat it to stop progression and pain. Steve's general good health and strong body will help him fight this, as will his attitude. If ever anyone had an is the Kings!

His take on this is that it sucks. But we have handled lots of things in our 45 years together; massive head injuries from a work accident, bone tumors, house fires, lupus, drug addicted kid, critically ill grandchildren, death of parents. Ahhh the list goes on, each seemed insurmountable in its time, but we made it successfully through each of them. This may have a different outcome, but we will deal with it in our usual way, day by day, step by step, head on. Reality sucks but it has to be dealt with, it doesn't go away. Steve said yesterday, "Another test. As long as it is strength, not smarts, I'm OK". Always has a smart remark, he has.

Please, send up your prayers, good thoughts, or positive vibes, whatever is your belief, for us. We will need support from all our friends with this one. Talk to me. Love

Thursday, October 6, 2011


Good Sunday morning to you all,
        It is a lovely fall weekend in the Valley, we had a big frost last night. I'm glad that I haven't had flowers on my porches this summer to be bitten. Trent took mine to their house when we were in Florida and I never brought them back here. Nina has coaxed them into beautiful blooms all summer and they are still going strong. With my time being spent at Mom's, I would have neglected the flowers and they woud have been long gone by now. I'll bring the ferns home for my parlor soon and hope they will winter well. I may pick up a mum or two today just to brighten up the porch.
        My family continues to care for our mother around the clock, she is much improved, but living alone is not a possibilty yet. Nor may it be in the future. The physical injury has exaggerated the Alzheimers' symptoms and the fear of another fall keeps us close to her side. My sister, brothers, and sisters-in-law share the responsibility of staying with Mom, rotating every 24 hours. The boys are only available on weekends, but are right there when they can be. We all are very close to Mom, each in our own way; I'm the oldest and have a bond with her, Deb has been able to spend time over the years helping Mom with cleaning and Christmas shopping and day to day life, Mike is the first boy and the Golden Child, we all say, and Rob is Mom's baby boy.  He came as a surprise to her and Dad when the rest of us were teenagers. And he has always been a blessing, keeping them young, they always said.  We all know this may be a long journey for our family and are willing to continue as long as it takes. Thankful we have each other to help us stay strong.
        The transplant process is slowly continuing for Mackenzie. This week brought another Riley visit and a ton of lab work. When this is analyzed, they will test her parents for a donor match. We feel it is taking too long, but know this team is the best in the nation for pediatric transplants and will trust their judgement. It is rather like sitting on a skillet which grows hotter and hotter each day, and not being able to jump off. Mack has been feeling unwell for the last few weeks, but is at school each day, working on her school yearbook, keeping her grades up inspite of it all. We went to Bloomington yesterday afternoon to get some outfits for Senior pictures. She had taken her SATS that morning and had a ton of nervous energy to work off, by 6:00pm she was zonked out in the backseat. No late Saturday nights for her until after the trnsplant. A transplant is going to give her more than just  healthy kidney, it will give Mackenzie a normal teenage life. She has been ill since she was 9 and doesn't know normal life or feeling good. I cannot wait for her to experience life at full power. She is such a sweet girl, trusting in her parents, her doctors and her God to keep her safe.
       Courtney will be here for the month of November. We are counting the days. She has had strep and even had a doctor make a house call! I was surprised to hear that in Australia it is not unusual to have a heatlh insurance policy which provides a doc come round whenever one is too ill to get out. Their doctor has recently relocated across the city and they decided to use this service. She was quite impressed by the lady who showed up after Ken's call. Competent and professional and reassuring that her high fever and earache were something treatable and not the plague Court felt it to be! 
         I cannot believe it is already Thursday again, where are we rushing to these days? I expected retirement to be a slowed down version of life, but amazingly it moves even faster than the world of work. I attempt to enjoy quiet moments each day and not just live for weekends, however, some days are gone before I know it. I have been home alone for a few hours this morning and have truly enjoyed the action of stripping beds, sweeping floors and pressing clothing. It feels so normal but it has been weeks since I have done these chores at one time. Usually it is a bit of laundry here, a run through with the vac there and finger pressing the wrinkles from my tops and shaking out my jeans! :-). I plan to take Mom to see The Help this evening, she read the book earlier, but has forgotten most of it. I'm excited for her to see the film, she enjoys movies. At least movies on Lifetime, which don't require much attention. My oh my that network tries my patience with its made for TV nonsense. Our lives are challenging, but imagine how one would survive some of those ridiculous situations on there!
         I bought a bright yellow mum for my porch as we came home from Indy on Tuesday. It looks so nice and cheerful in the big green pot Shawn gave me for my birthday. A point of light in an otherwise drab porch. I got Shawn and Mom a couple of them for their porches too. We all need some color to perk us up and I love fresh flowers. Maybe I'll be a florist when I grow up! Spreading the joy one plant at a time.
        Stephen King has suffered back pain all summer and it continues to nag him, but he is going to put a new roof on the house this month with the help of the boys. I'm so excited to see that happen, the old green shingle roof is tired and dirty. A clay colored metal roof will up the cheerful vibe around this homestead. I plan to paint the garage and garden shed next spring and put one of those barn quilts on the garage. Our little place is nestled into a hillside and it will be sweet to fancy it up abit. The house is a cosy place inside and these changes will help the outside feel cosy too. Love fluffing up the home place!
        The Fall Gagglefest is set for Janelle's on Oct. 21 and I cannot wait to see everyone and catch up with all of my girlies. This is a special group for me, most of my friends have been local and usually family connected until the Gaggle. Never have I meet a stronger group of ladies. All of them work full time as wonderful counselors or teachers and still take care of their families without missing a beat. Each faces her own struggle but is always quick to respond to a friend in need. Old Mothergoose is blessed to be part of this gang.
         Now I really have to shower and get to Mom's. My sister-in-law has had all the fun she needs in the last 24 hours and I get my turn. How blessed we are to have such loving girls in our brothers' wives.  Carol and Donna are more than in-laws, they are daughters to Mom. And we all love them for it.
        Enjoy this wonderful weather, everyone. Talk to me.