Monday, December 15, 2014


      We lost our mom Nov. 30 after a five year journey with Alzheimer's Disease. My girls, I pray your families are never exposed to this horrific disease. It steals lives slowly, gradually taking away loved ones and leaving empty bodies in their place. And the most terrifying thing is they know they are being taken and cannot stop going. Blessedly, for us, Mom rallied after suffering strokes on that last Tuesday. Her speech was effected for a few hours, but during the night she called out to someone...someone who wasn't there. When she did open her eyes, she appeared to know us and know what was happening to her. She thanked us for staying at home with her and taking care of her. "I have good kids", she repeated often. It had been decided much earlier that no extreme measures would be taken should she have such a stroke, she never wanted to just take up space on this earth. She was ready to go Home. We all agreed and thought we were ready to let her go, but as it was happening we realized it was not so easy to let go forever. For five days and nights, we sat at her bedside, lay beside her on the big bed she had shared with our Dad. Attending to her basic care, keeping her clean, dry and comfortable. Holding her hand, listening to her speak with that someone only she could see. We all agreed it was Dad or her guardian angel, come to take her home.
Now most of you didn't know my mom, I know, but she was a beautiful, classy lady, sweet and humble, heart as pure as gold. She lived for her family.
All she ever asked of us was to be kept at home, she had a dreadful fear of nursing homes. We did that for her for five years, never leaving her alone. I believe she saw we were coming to the end of our strength to keep it up and chose to go. The one other thing she asked was to be buried in her gown and robe and no eye glasses! She would see others dressed up and lying in their caskets and say, " do they think they are going out after this?" She wanted to meet her maker, warm and cozy, ready to enjoy eternity. Mom looked so peaceful and pretty in her aqua bedclothes. She was always the prettiest girl in the room, Dad said, and she was still the day we laid her to rest.
It has been two weeks and we are slowly marking off items from our To Do list. The big challenge will be the personal items she had acquired in her eighty five years. Add to that, the collections Dad brought into their home and, People, we have a boatload of stuff! We know our parents are looking down and laughing at the trick they've played on us. They are together in Heaven and we four are dealing with STUFF. Just like they always told us it would be. We cannot be sad, knowing that they are together again, they were soul mates for 53 years. And now forever.
We all have kids and grandkids and life continues, not the same but as it should, as it always has been.
I've ordered all my Christmas gifts online, now to wrap them. I miss having babies to buy for, our 10 and 11 year old boys aren't nearly as fun to buy for since they ask for Teepees and Nerf guns. Oh, and a goat! Our girls are all grown up, too, clothing, handbags, electronics, not a BabyDoll on any list. I've made peanut butter cookies, peanut butter fudge, have my sugar cookie dough in the fridge, thinking about some spiced nuts, maybe. And hard cinnamon candy is next week.
I have a baby quilt for my niece cut and ready to sew. Courtney embroidered farm animal block and I cut some baby-like fabrics for the other blocks. I have a sweet alphabet print for the backing. He will be my baby brothers first grand child and we are all thrilled he is almost here. Rob's kids call my sister and I grandma instead of aunt because we are some much older than their dad. I was 18 and Deb 16 when he was born, he is less than a year older than our Stephen. He was with us most of the time growing up. He has always been a blessing to our family, kept Dad and Mom young keeping up with him.
Talk to me, Ladies, I miss you all. God Bless your families this year and keep you safe. Love, Hedy


Janelle said...

Hello to the whole gaggle, but especially you, Hedy. My heart goes out to you in the loss of your mother. It's hard to lose your mom, the woman who brought you into this world (and if she was like mine, she may have threatened a time or two to take you out also) and taught you so much about being a woman, leader, wife and mother. I never had the honor of meeting your mom, but when I saw the picture you posted of her on FB, I was not at all surprised that you look so much like her. I'm sure she was as beautiful, sweet and loving as you are. Such a wonderfully, sweet person you are, Hedy. You will continue to be near to my heart and prayers.
Wow....this year has flown by. Just flown by. Life is good, just chugging along one day at a time. I'm looking forward to break. Time to just be out of our routine if we want, stay in PJ's until noon and just destroy any time of schedule or plans that we have had. I feel that Eden loses a bit of her little years because we are constantly bundling her up, packing a bag and dragging her to the next girl scout event, basketball game or just simply chasing after her sisters. Where has the time gone, really? Avery turned 8 today, Olivia is approaching 6 and Eden, well it feels like she has been at the terrible 2's for 3 years. She's so strong-willed, she will either make a great divorce attorney or some poor man crazy for putting up with her "I want, I need" attitude. She so funny because she has our 9 year old lab wrapped around her finger. He sleeps next to her bed and doesn't get up until she gives him the ok. It's really quite ridiculous and is probably setting her for some sort of life disappointment when she figures out that this isn't the way it happens in real life. Shew.....thank the good Lord for hair color and Zoloft. The two things that will get me to the other side of this 2nd year. Lol. Oh, did I forget my shy, quiet, middle child? She's such a comfort at times. So sweet, so quiet and just wants to blend in. But there's no way she will ever blend in because "glitter makes everything better" and her hot pink glasses are "da best gwasses eva!" Yep, that's my lady.

Brian is doing great....I am doing fine. I, too, am ready for this Elf on a Shelf to go back in it's box, take down the tree and move on to warmer weather. Yep, just call me Scrooge. ;)

I miss and love you all. Hedy, we will be thinking of your family during the least favorite time of the year, but it's also a reset button for me. Time to give thanks, give to others and be grateful for those that we do have. I am grateful for you and will look forward to seeing you all in 2015. Promise.

Love you!


Mereknits said...

Oh Hedy, so much loss and at such a tough time of year. You want to keep going for everyone else, but it is hard I know. I lost my BIL in Feb, my MIL in March, my Mother in April and a dear friend in May. This has been a difficult year. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. She sounds like a beautiful woman, inside and out. You are blessed to have had her as a Mother.

Jen Kershner said...

Bless your heart. I know these holidays must have been tough for you. Your momma was clearly well loved. It is a big sacrifice to take care of someone in that situation. My hubby's mother is in NC and has had Alzheimers for many years and was just put in a home last month. It is hard for everyone. Sending you peace and hugs.

Claudia said...

Dear Hedy,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. My mom didn't have Alzheimer's but she did suffer from dementia and I know how hard that is to witness in a loved one. Sending you love and hugs and prayers for healing.