Just gotta love being back to work and realizing it never changes! Each evening I pray for a better tomorrow. Most days are a repeat of the one before or are even crazier, somehow. Maybe it is time I stop hanging out with the middle school kids. Maybe it is them not me. I have loved my job from day one, even though 12-15 year olds were not my favorite aged people. I found a home with them and realized they were OK. But keeping up with them at 60+ is different than when I was 40. THEY WEAR ME OUT! Physically, mentally and emotionally...especially emotionally. Only 220 more days and I'm out.
Our girls are doing better. Both have returned to school and appear to be as near to normal as possible. Mackenzie has an appointment with her doctors on Thursday, so we will know more then. She would love to finish her junior year before a transplant. Hopefully, that will be the way it goes for her. Mack has a very stoic attitude towards her health. She remains both optimistic and realistic, living day by day with faith that she will be fine. I admire her so much for being able to hold fast to her faith when I am so full of questions and concerns about her future. She has her dress picked out for Prom, just needs Mom's approval. It is so hard to imagine that our little redhead is nearly 17 and will be going to lots of Proms and dances and parties in the coming years. Grandma has wonderful memories of Tea Parties with Mack and Shay wearing aprons and setting the tea table with fresh picked flowers. They would drink tiny cups of milk flavored with a teeny bit of tea and sugar, tiny cookie and fruit slices. Sometimes there were fancy hats involved and high heeled shoes! Funny how tea parties were never something I did with Madeleine. While Mack and Shayla would pretend to be fancy grown-up ladies, Maddie would look at me and ask for just cookies and milk. She sees everything in concrete and has little patience for imaging. I've made numerous attempts to engage her with Fairy Stories. But she looks at me and says, "No thanks". She tries to be kind in her rejection of my ideas, but secretly rolls her eyes at my silliness. Maddie is a special blessing to all of us.
Southern Indiana has had its share of weather issues this winter. We are waiting for the latest snow storm to blast through here on Thursday. The students are jumpy are cats, anticipating snow-days, sleeping in and playing in the cold, wet stuff. Teaching is morphed into herding during these days. It takes only a snap to set one of them off on a fork-wielding tirade against someone talking across the lunch table. Another tosses orange peeling and cherry juice over his buddy, "just for fun". The girls are the real challenge, throwing LOOKS at everyone; friend and enemy alike. No one likes the LOOKS, especially the adults in charge. Reasoning with someone who has the power to LOOK at you is a task for a super hero, not a mere mortal. I spend as much time counseling and consoling teachers as I do students. I'm getting the cape! A nice big one to hide from the world, Black with Queen of the World in big letters.
When I am QOW, things will be different. Everyone...everyone from insurance clerks to special education co-op staff will do his/her job. Just the job, no more no less. I do believe if we all just did what we are hired to do the world would revolve on a much better axis. Who is that person who fails to notice the signature form has been completed and the boxes all have the appropriate checks in them? Sorry, the cold, gray weather has me grouchy. Or something. I am sure my doctor will cheer me up tomorrow when he explains how much improved his meds have made me! Or else explains again why nausea is to be expected with chemo, "it shows it's working". Or not.
I am looking past this trial of weather, wild kids, poor health towards Spring. It will return and we will celebrate. Green leaves, grass, and blooms. Hang in there, everyone. Hedy