Friday, January 28, 2011

Wishing Away Winter

Is anyone else over this weather? I can generally tolerate some snow and a little wintery weather, but really! We might as well be living in Alaska this year. Except for the scary former governor, of course. Wait, we do have Mitch...equally scary, maybe. Oh, yeah, this is not a political blog. Promise. It's just that I'm an old hippy-type and right-wingers scare me and I'm a touchy, feely social worker and meanness bothers me. Stepping off the soapbox now.
This was the year I was going to forego my SpringBreak trip South. But really, not after these temperatures and that amount of snow. I need the sun, for medical reasons. I'm sure my docs would prescribe a trip to warm sunny climes if pressed. I have never suffered from SDA, but can now say I really understand those who do. Gray is just not a good color for the environment, even with a base of deep white snow. The sun is life giving, promising, warming. Humans don't operate well without sun in their life. Hearts slow to barely life-sustaining rates, moods plummet to soul-wrenching depths. The sun has the power to raise moods, hopes and inspire happy thoughts. Even the milky white haze of the sun through clouds is enpough to make us smile and feel better. The blinding glare of the sun on all this snow brings on giddiness or the rare times we've seen it.
Our girls are doing well this week. It is a week by week thing for Mackenzie, I'm afraid. The medication which they are going with for the lungs will undoubtedly cause more damage to the kidneys, but does and amazing job on her breathing. The docs tell us the kidneys are goners and we have to save the lungs. Such an extreme trade-off. Maddie is back to being Maddie! Homework is something she will avoid at all costs and she is not above "forgetting" to bring it home. Not a habit we want her to develop. She is very strong willed and her communication disorder complicates so many areas of her life. Being ill has given her an unfair advantage over the adults recently!
Our house was stricken by the stomach bug this week; Stephen King looked at me like I had brought in the plague everytime he rushed to the bathroom! Middle schoolers are so good about sharing, they want everyone to have what they have, and all 250 of them shared with me. Oh My. We had a very successful first semester, academically speaking here in the Valley. All involved have kicked it up a notch; students and teachers alike. I am proud to see so many Top Hawks recognized with a day at our local water park. Nearly 50% celebrated one afternoon when we returned to school after Christmas break. We award MVP t-shirts to the most enthusiastic student in each department every semester and this time I had to order 39 shirts. Love celebrating/acknowledging learning!
I'm wishing my life away, to quote my Mom, but I do wish this school year was over. I suppose it is because of my illness and knowing I'm retiring, but I feel as if I have nothing else to contribute here. I hate the thought of leaving, yet feel as if I'm already gone. Maybe just "senioritise". Maybe an attempt to protect myself from the pain of separating from a life I've lived for 20 years.
There is so much to do. With each day, I think of more and more that has to be done before I can walk away and leave this to someone else. Ending a job is almost as full of "to dos" as beginning one! I remember having a list of things for every month my first year. Things that only happen once a year, but have to be done EVERY year. After all this time they are done without thinking, but whoever replaces me will need to know what, how and when of each activity. And we all know, I love lists! I use the same journal to make lists of holiday menus, birthday presents, Christmas lists, etc. It is amusing to go back and see how little by little our families taste in food changed, our kids interests evolved and technology zoomed ahead. For example; Christmas 2000 Shayla got a CD player,  fast forward to Christmas 2009 Shay got a laptop, Christmas 2010 Maddie got an ipod Touch. Our food preferences went from years of Christmas turkey to a standing rib the last few years. My lists have marked the coming and going of loved ones and "not loved anymore" ones, of stilled loved and missed. Courtney has chosen Australia as home and hasn't spent Holidays with us, so we make do and celebrate each day she is here. One day her Ken will join her in a visit and our family gatherings will grow again. We have been so blessed to have the kids close and with technology, we don't feel the distance to OZ quite like we might have 20 years ago.
OK, back to lists... I make a list most mornings. I get such satisfaction when I can check off item after item of completed chores! Or in reality, at least 1 thing from a 50 item list. Lists are my tool for organizing my life; I cannot start a project, a big meal, a trip, a DAY without a list. Making a list pulls my random thoughts together and lays out the plan of action. Do this, then that, proceed on to the other. Ahhh, Bliss when a list is complete.
Excuse me, break is over... my list says Time to find the misssing locker key, check on Billy Bob's homework and make sure all the Lists have been recorded. HEHEHE! Enjoy your weekend, Everyone.


Janelle said...

Oh, Hedy, I am so sorry your family has been through so much this winter. You all amaze me with your strength and positive attitude that just carries you through each day. We will continue to pray for the girls...and for the entire family. On a brighter side, I am so happy for you that retirement is near. I think that means you will be a frequent "flyer" up north, right? :) I hope we can at least get together this spring...I miss everyone.

Speaking of everyone...I was really glad to see you started updating the blog again. Sometimes I feel that it is our main way of communicating. Life is good here. I'm a little under the weather tonight, Brian is snowmobiling in Michigan and the girls are being spoiled at their grandparents' house for the night. Peace and quiet in my office....ahhhhhh. No, not really, it's weird. :)

The girls are good. Avery is as sassy as ever and Olivia has suddenly turned into a talker. It's amazing how much she is saying now. A new pet has joined our household, a house cat named Lucy. Brian (and Avery) took Lucy to the vet last weekend because we had decided that after a month we are indeed keeping her and she was going to need shots if she was going to be around the girls. After the vet looked her over, she announced "Lucy has testicles!" So now, Larry has had a name change...and Ave tells everyone she knows that Lucy has testicles and now his name is Larry....oh, brother...

That's all from the Hardebeck household for now. Some things never change....never a dull moment! Love and miss you!

Alison said...

Yes, I'm totally over this weather!! I'm going stir crazy today. Would rather be at work. I can't believe I'm saying that, but it's true.

Janelle, your girls are so funny! Rex and I love your Lucy/Larry situation. Too funny! Sometimes I forget that my kids have a higher understanding of anatomy and "how things work" than other kids their age. Jordan is just starting to put it together with human behavior, but Trent is so oblivious. either that, or he just hides his understanding well. He is something, let me tell ya.

We most definitely need a spring gaggle fest. Perhaps the weather will let up by March?! Let's hope. This has been crazy!

Take care and stay warm!