Saturday, August 24, 2013

Stephen King

Hello all, most of you know we lost Steve on Aug. 14 after a rare syndrome connected with the lung cancer struck him. It is called ParaNeoPlasticSyndrome and occurs in only 1% of lung cancer patients. Just his luck, he said. But it was quick, less than a month after symptoms started. He was aware until the end and was surrounded by those who loved him. We turned the parlor into a bright and sunny bedroom for him and he was comfortable, for the most part, watching the butterflies mass at the bushes outside his windows, checking traffic up and down the hill and coaching the grandsons in their daily Nerf battles. Steve's sisters, Deb, Carol and our kids took turns staying at his bedside at night, as keeping him in bed was a challenge. He fought to get up and go into the bathroom multiple times each night, just to show us he could. Iron willed to the end. I wouldn't has expected anything less. We gathered here each evening for another meal and time together, I think it was a good death, allowing Steve and the rest of us time for sharing good-byes.
 We followed his wishes for cremation, with his ashes spread over the family farm, as were his parents. The kids, Grandkids and I are traveling to his beloved Cumberland Gap next month to spread ashes from his powder horn there. He would have loved that. The Gap and its history fascinated Steve, I believe he'd loved to been a part of that time. We all love family road trips and this will be a bittersweet one for us.
Courtney got home a few days before her dad passed, we were so blessed by that. She is staying till Sept 14, helping me adjust to this new life. I may visit her and Ken in the Spring, as Steve and I talked of doing. He was curious to see that beautiful place, but I will see it for him and share in our daughter's new home. We wanted to help them with their gardens and chicken house, as they are not old hands at country life. Court lived it as a child, but as the youngest missed out on most of the real workings of it. Even in their city apartment she had a lovely flower bed and hanging garden though, and Ken has grass sown and beds dug at the new house. 
Stephen and Trent have kept up our mowing and trimming all summer to their dad's standards, I'm telling them I can take over but they won't listen. I will make acquaintance with the new mower soon though, as I haven't mowed since Steve retired. Nina and the boys have saved Steve's garden bounty, too. Picking, canning, freezing and giving away most of what he produced. I'm betting next year's garden will pale to this one, I haven't the stamina or green thumb my Stephen King did. 
Our kids and grands have been so strong through this, always supporting the others in their pain. I'm blessed with such a close, loving family. They each know he loved them and was proud of who they are. Steve's sisters and my family have been beside us constantly, too, doing whatever they could for him and me. We've been a family for nearly 50 years, King or Charles, it makes no difference, we love each other the same.
I know that I'm going through the motions of living right now, on cruise control, Steve would say. But  each day it gets more real and more difficult. I get quiet, trying to feel him around me, trying to come to grips with reality. I know I will be ok, life will be different but ok. I know we will be together again some day. 

It has been so long since I've posted, this may not be read, but I needed to write it. Talk to me. Love.


Sherry said...

Dear Hedy,

I've never been to your blog before today, but stumbled on it and your post. I just want you to know that you have someone in Alabama praying for you. I'm praying that God will wrap you in his loving arms and comfort you.

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Donna said...


I came by your blog thru Claudia of Mockingbird Hill Cottage. I am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing, but what a wonderful thing to be surrounded by those you love most. Please know that I will keep you in my prayers as you adjust to your new normal.


Hedy King said...

Thank you Donna and Sherry for your kind support. That is the best of blogging, spreading kindness. Hedy